Vanity

I never in all of my life thought the word “vain” would fall under the long list of things that I am. Unfortunately, there it is.

When I was younger, I didn’t understand people who had cosmetic surgery, did Botox, spent hundred of on hair and make-up, or got their nails done every week. I actually saw people like that and thought, “yuck!” It was sinful in my opinion, when I would hear about people getting tummy tucks becuase they had enough money to do it….if they dipped into their savings.

I am not vain to this point. But now I have changed my point of view to, hey it you have the resources and it makes you feel better about yourself, do it to it. I have thought about Botox only once, and that was for migraine purposes. Im not thrilled about these lines in my face, but I have earned every one of them. And luckily, the deepest ones are laugh lines.

I do some things to change little parts of myself. Gray hairs want to visit me, then I have BOXES of hair dye under my bathroom sink. I have some nails that I may put on for a few days if I have a meeting or something that I need to dress up for, but as a therapist those have to come off soon so I can actually type. Sun spots? No ma’am, my dermotogist already knows those can’t live with or on me. Gym time is nuts sometimes because I go too hard on my legs (my thighs are not my pals) and my tummy (Thank you again, steriods). And make-up lives in my home for the days that I need it.

People have often said that I worry too much about my appearance because I want to make my husband happy and I want him to be attracted to me and be proud when we are seen out in public. All that is true. But he isn’t the main reason. I want to be proud when I am out with anyone. I want my children to think they have a pretty mama. Mostly I want to look in the mirror and say to myself, “looking good, girl.” It’s been a very long time since I have been able to do that.

So, as I have gotten older I no longer pass judgement on those people that choose to live in a salon or opt to get cosmetic surgery. I have decided after years of consideration that just isn’t for me. I have decided to grow older gracefully, and proudly because a lot of people don’t make it to the age I am now. Yes, my health makes me a little chubby (again, steriods….grrrr), life makes my hair have silver streaks (thank you again, Revlon) and having a life filled with laughter caused a few wrinkles, and I will cherish those. And As I continue to save money, the tummy tucks could come….but I’ll just keep that money in savings to make more memories that will cause deeper laugh lines in the future.

-Love and Light